We lay in a bed, motionless and numb. The room was spinning, and every delicate detail became a blur we couldn’t recognise. It was cheap, but soothing. Then again it works, its an anaesthetic you need to make you immune to feelings and pain - but it becomes a poison you can’t shake, you can’t get rid of and you depend upon. And that is the scariest of all, knowing you can’t just rely on yourself to be happy anymore.